I Fu@king Hate Halloween

Thank God I will not be in this country for Halloween. I will be in India, where my friend just told me that “no means yes.” I said sounds like a recipe for rape. She said no one will rape me as long as I don’t go on a bus. Or train. I will be there for 12 days. I have 30 Xanax, antibiotics, anti diarrhea pills, anti nausea pills, Malaria pills, two hand fans, a box of Apple flavored Cheerios, Ritz Crackers, fruit roll ups, Captain Crunch, cashews, graham crackers, protein bars, three cell phones, 30 sets of earplugs, a flashlight, and some clothes. In preparation I have not been showering and have been living on India time for a week. My dogs are confused. They are going to miss me. I hope I can’t hear them barking from there. #eviction 

So for those of you stuck in this country, happy fu@king Halloween. It should be dark by 4 pm. FYI I would never dress as a bunny in real life, but in Photoshop it’s SO easy. 

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