I recently got married. On Facebook. It’s totally legitimate and legal. (Insert grateful/blessed/spiritual quote here.) I would have gotten married ten years ago, but it took that long for him to read the prenup. 

I didn’t have to marry Shai. Thanks to Photoshop I could have “married” anyone I want.  Like this guy . . .

Or this guy!

Speaking of Donald Rumsfeld, I used to have a huge crush on him. I wrote him a letter and sent him a copy of a book I wrote called “Girls Are Weird.”

I sent the book and letter at the height of the Anthrax scare, so I’m not sure if he ever got it.

Anyway, since I’m a writer I decided to write a book on marriage, and share my expertise. It’s available now on Amazon.

Our wedding was very upscale. I of course dressed the part.

It’s not a wedding unless you have an announcement in the NY Times. It’s not as easy as it seems to submit your request.

As far as our occupations go I don’t really know what my occupation is, so I left that blank. Not sure what my husbands occupation is either, so I Googled him but nothing came up.

Next: noteworthy awards and special achievements. I would like to know what they consider “noteworthy.” Special achievements is something I write about in my other blog, which costs $39.99 per year. (See: Funny In Bed)

How we met is basically how everyone else meets – a one night stand in college. We didn’t speak during the one night stand, or for the next six years. We reunited when he called me from a payphone on my corner at 11 pm on a Sunday night, after leaving his first wife. The rest is history. 

Now that I’m married I’m ready for the next step – cheating! (Insert party hat emoji here) 

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