I recently got married. On Facebook. It’s totally legitimate and legal. (Insert grateful/blessed/spiritual quote here.) I would have gotten married ten years ago, but it took that long for him to read the prenup. 

I didn’t have to marry Shai. Thanks to Photoshop I could have “married” anyone I want.  Like this guy . . .

Or this guy!

Speaking of Donald Rumsfeld, I used to have a huge crush on him. I wrote him a letter and sent him a copy of a book I wrote called “Girls Are Weird.”

I sent the book and letter at the height of the Anthrax scare, so I’m not sure if he ever got it.

Anyway, since I’m a writer I decided to write a book on marriage, and share my expertise. It’s available now on Amazon.

Our wedding was very upscale. I of course dressed the part.

It’s not a wedding unless you have an announcement in the NY Times. It’s not as easy as it seems to submit your request.

As far as our occupations go I don’t really know what my occupation is, so I left that blank. Not sure what my husbands occupation is either, so I Googled him but nothing came up.

Next: noteworthy awards and special achievements. I would like to know what they consider “noteworthy.” Special achievements is something I write about in my other blog, which costs $39.99 per year. (See: Funny In Bed)

How we met is basically how everyone else meets – a one night stand in college. We didn’t speak during the one night stand, or for the next six years. We reunited when he called me from a payphone on my corner at 11 pm on a Sunday night, after leaving his first wife. The rest is history. 

Now that I’m married I’m ready for the next step – cheating! (Insert party hat emoji here) 

2 thoughts on “Marriage”

  1. My comment is a question. Why are you labeled as depressed? You are smoking hot and you must be smart. Is it because you’re 43 and single? Maybe you are looking in the wrong places or maybe you are surrounded by egotistical, self centered wannabe millionaires who claim they have money but don’t realize that love is not how much money you make but how much love you make. Ok so there was a comment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>