Costco

I honestly think Costco is one of the most depressing places on earth. There’s too many, too big versions of everything and it’s frightening. Unless you live with an army I don’t understand the need for 900 candy bars or 50b bags of flour. When I walk through the aisles it all makes me think of accessories for the movie “Honey I Blew up the Kid.”

Is this what someones shopping list for Costco looks like?

Where else on earth can you buy cigarettes, vitamins, jewelry and Turbo Tax under the same roof? And more importantly is this necessary? 

Do you trust a store that sells sofas in a box? Directly above Pita chips?

What about potatoes above umbrellas?

Are you getting anxiety yet?  And everything is so heavy. I would only be able to buy one thing per visit.

I have a range of moods when I’m in Costco. First I am extremely depressed, then I get anxious, then eventually I get nauseous. I will use mood faces from first grade therapy to express my feelings properly.

Here’s something Costco doesn’t have . . . yet.

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