DHG Heirlooms

Since you never know when you’re going to die, everyone should have a will. I would never want my valuables to fall into the wrong hands. My will naturally includes pictures because words just aren’t enough. My estate attorney takes me very seriously.

headbandThis is a relatively new acquisition. It was only about $30 on Etsy, but to me it’s priceless. I know my nieces are going to fight over this piece so I put a stipulation in my will that if they can’t come to a decision as to who should keep it, they can just have it surgically cut in half.

2This is a very rare thong bikini that I bought in Miami. The really sad thing about it is that I bought it way after my thong days were over and never wore it. What was I thinking? Was I thinking that my ass was going to suddenly start getting younger? I think I will waste a lot of time in therapy talking about this.

3Those are very rare ankle cuffs. They also double as a smiley face if you’re an optimist.

IMG_6580This is a very rare bunny that I bought in a drugstore in Tokyo. Please note the tiara.

IMG_6581This is the bunny after a very bad paint accident.

IMG_6579This is not an heirloom, it’s what they gave me at lunch today when I asked for salt.

IMG_6586That is a pacifier from the day I was born. It was given to me by the owner of a very famous drive-in movie theater in North Dakota, which is not a state.

bull dozerI only used this bulldozer once. See: http://www.depressedhotgirl.com/north-dakota-part-2/

Lastly, this is my most prized and cherished heirloom that I hope gets passed down for generations, only if the description fits which I pray it does.

skinny bitch


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